Samosas to Chip buttys to liquorice?

Can I be a foriegner forever? I guess this question will not be answered in a jiffy.
But I wonder if I can. What does it mean to search for my roots- where do I search? I think that this is interesting in my case (and others alike) -as I am second generation, now living in a third country. Are my roots in the pie and chips, mash of england where I was born and raised, or in those of my parents (gulab jamens and ludo, samosas, the pakastini foods, etc.), and will they soon become liqourice and the liver pate, risengrod (rice porridge) of Denmark. What a concoction of food that will be passed onto the next generation...

the wind is back

since this was the topic of one of the first blog entries it is back. The wind, it is strong in denmark, so even though the sun shines, I cant escape it, and the tears are rolling down my face, bringing back memories of cycling down castle hill in cambridge, reaching the traffic lights and being very conscious that you are 'crying'.

when shall we give up our dream

Life is always more enjoyable if there are dreams that one is still awaiting to attain. It is the age old saying ' it is the journey that is important and not the final destination'. But I think that it is important to keep creating final destinations, and they should be ones that can not be reached. Without these (or dreams) what is life about? It is fine balance between realising yourself that the dream is not attainable and discarding it, yet creating other dreams which are not attainable and tricking yourself into believing they are. Of course it also about deciding whether these dream are what you really want.

When fakeness blurs reality

There has not been much posting in August, one of the main reasons is that I have been travelling- Paris , London and Las Vegas. Las Vegas is an interesting one that I would not visit for the sake of visiting, but given the excuse of a conference it is fun. The fakeness makes it fun, caesars palace, with it fake roman column's, two copies of the trevi fountain, music playing in the background, and the prime feature- the ceilings painted a mid blue to resemble a sky. Of course the idea is to forget time, and spend, spend, spend. So when sitting having dinner in the British musuem a week later, can I be forgiven for thinking of caesars palace? the columns of the musuem, the jazz band playing out of my view, and the fantastic glass ceiling through which the impression of the fake sky is given. I was a bit disturbed that my impression of the artificial casaers palace blurred my view of the British Musuem. Since then I have heard that many americans are disappointed to arrive in Paris to realise that they have already been there, i.e. to have been in paris paris in las vegas....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caesars_Palace
http://www.britishmuseum.org/the_museum.aspx

Woman, faishon and contentness

We are always been fed images of what we should look like as woman. It is funny that all women's magazines are full of heavily airbrushed woman, and heterosexual men's magazine are fully of heavily airbrushed woman. Where as gay men's magazine are full of airbrushed men. So for men- the images are always of those they hope to attract. Where as for woman it is what we should be..
What would an intelligent womans magazine look like? would it be the economist without the money? I pick up the typical female glossies- but more to skirt over and see what it is faishon and you can be finished with a magazine within an hour or so... But I still wonder is there really no alternative?

Syle is there a consensus?

Having just travelled in the south of Italy (beautiful), the differences in style even with so called western faishon has been highlighted. The number of orange trousers (men only), the loose cotton style immediatly identifies a man as italian, spanish and maybe portugese. Trainers were back in faishon the airpump type. When I commented about the trainers in Italy- i was told that they are in faishon, hmm So should I like it? I remember when i wore trainers with a dress in UK back in the late 90's and the medettereans just did not get it 'nice dress shame about those shoes..'. So is there such a think as superior style? There are mainy choices of clothes that most of would think that is nice, but still would not wear.Hence this points to some consensus going beyond cultural differences

Why do we move and the fringes of our social circle.

Having just spent 10 days back in the 'ole country' (yes the land of queues and teas, England), I have started asking why the hell did i move?.

OK, first I should explain that I am quite happy in Denmark at the moment, but having spend longer than normal back in the UK, I met many friends/bumped into friends and saw people that are not close friends but those at the edge of my social circle. The latter group (the fringe of the social circle) is the one that disappears when you move country, as short visits mean that of course you should prioritise your time. However these people also define who you are- whether you want them to or not - there are small events, cultural references, that are experienced together. By moving away these are also slightly loss.

When to ditch the friend?

Hmmmmm.. I guess the answer could be: the moment you think about it? When you move you meet new people, some are very nice, but somehow when they ring you dont take the phone, and occasionally after meeting them leaves you a bit unsatisfied.

Political correctness v freedom of speech

Is it politically correct to make assumptions on where people come from? Living in Denmark and (having in my view a very obvious UK accent) it took my office mate 3 months before he asked 'where in India to you come from?', to which I answered 'London.'. Yesterday, in the middle of a Danish oral exam I was told that i looked like a Bollywood star....I had to stress that I was from the UK. So should I get offended? well no I did not, but did find the naiveity of the Danes to make such stereotypes annoying, and it does explain the political mess they landed themselves in. At the same time, it is a bit refreshing- political correctness can get so over the top, so where exactly is that border line. I remember back in Cambridge having to change the name of a xmas party to 'a winter party' on the request of some North Americans who felt it would offend/exclude those not celebrating xmas.

PMS

PMS- what a pain. Sorry did not manage to think of a sarcastic enough and deserving heading for the acroynm PMS. Having realised (at the age of 13) that crying when someone in 'neighbours' missed their wedding is not normal.. did i discover PMS. And yes, I tried the vit B, the milk thistle, the vit E, the primrose oil. and I cant saw that anything works. For me the best thing is to try to have a good sleep, not be too stressed, eat well, and also just accept that it is PMT ..and no I have not lost the plot...

Honesty and the poker face.

I have discovered that noone reads this blogs- thats great it means I can be more honest and anonymous, yet as I have given the blog website to a few people already I still have my guard up. Writing somehow makes you more exposed. But the blogging thing is great- short entries about nothing in particular.I hope it will get a focus. I wonder what bloggers do- are most of them completely anonymous?

Motivation- again

I have started reading about motivation- apparently the problem is not time management. Tricks seem to be to do the 10 min thing. That is decide that you will do a task for ten minutes, and hopefully that convinces you to keep doing it for longer. Well I tried that and it seems to be ok, but when you analysing transcripts for 10 minutes you dont feel the sense of achivement gained when you see a result. But you do feel the sense of achievement of having done it, and that is worth holding on to.

Keeping the balance-the roots and the new

Holding on to your roots becomes important only when they are taken away. It is only then in fact when you realise where and what you roots are. I say this as a second generation British person living in Denmark- my original roots form Pakistan are less and less my roots. It is obvious to me while in Copenhagen- that I long for my farleys rusk- occasional fish n chips- as well as the Pakistani food. However there can be a tendency to overdo this heritage- I can see that my values are more British than Pakistani- yes the good old queuing culture has really set my values. However waiting at the bus stops here and being the last to get on, depsite being the first at the bus stop ,made me realise we all need to adjust-change our values and not be afraid that this will take away our identity.

When do we need a change? and what should we change?

Today is another day (in a set of three) where the motivation is low. Is it because I have had a few days break- and the adrenalin from the earlier deadlines has settled down, and with the few days break it has totally disappeared. In any case it is a bit hard to be motivated to start the next job. It could be the nature of the work- research always need a lot of discipline to start a project- and with lots of deadlines it works well, but the lull can be such a motivation killer. Or it could be that the work rhythm changed- working constantly was fine, but then the break came in and destroyed it. So if I change something - what should it be the? the way I work, or what I work with. It is also funny since I am actually good at what I do- but is it the competitiveness in me that makes me good. And would I be good somewhere else- is it that fear that I may not be good that stops me taking the risk and changing.

When we are busy we go to ebay....

Today is one of those days where I have spend most of my working time browsing the net- mainly ebay and bbc news again and again (just in case something radical takes place). Why is it that when we are busy we look for every distraction possible? For me deadlines are the best mode to work, but even then I will only really get going just before they are due- I will and always make the deadlines- but need that pressure to get going.
Ebay seems a great diversion -actually very mindless (and no I did not buy anything..), at first my searches where vintage clothes- but now they have progressed to vintage cars..

What motivates people?

What motivates people.. culture or money? this is a question that i have been thinking about lately. Ambition is an obvious answer, but ambition itself comes from something or other. I have been thinking of this recently as I am currently living in Denmark, where the differences between the poor and the rich, the educated and uneducated is not so visible. The poorest parts of Copenhagen still do not resemble the council estates of the UK - so if there is not much financial reward for effort what motivates them to get educated..?

The new generation-where do we belong?

A new generation is born and where do we belong? - once we have become 'integrated' we essentially are assimilated and fit well in to the society where we have grown up(or moved too). However, at the same time we moved away from the cultures, traditions, even the language of our family heritage. The tension of fitting into the new society is replaced with another tension- the one of our original culture. This may be seen sometimes as denial of original cultural values, or tension in families, or a sense of no longer belonging to the country of origin.

What will happen in the future? will our next generations essential be a new dane- new brit, etc. or will there be pockets of society who wish to stay with their defined identity and hence be integrated yet hold onto their own traditions- a different type of integration in fact one that may lead to several subcultures. A small country like Danmark is not used to the extra layers of society (and it is questionable if larger countries are?- look to recent events in Paris, Birmingham).

The Third Generation

After being born and raised most of my life in London with Pakastini parents, I have for the last two years lived in Copenhagen. I am constantly reminded of my culture. Danes often ask me what I think of the headscarf, the homogenious of the danish society, the amount of foriegners that should be in each school. Their questions remind me that I am not white, and that their first curiosity is culture- I now define myself as 'brown' . Of course -identity is very much linked with culture- but what is the culture of the second generation- I drink, dance, live with my Danish boyfriend, I doubt I could live in Pakistan ( a place where I never lived) without facing a huge cultural diffirence As I think of having children- I am confronted with two sets of issues, 1) how will they be treated (especially in Denmark- where foriegner is usually first generation with issues of language etc), and 2) will I sent my children to schools with first generation foriegners? The children of the second generation now has the complexity of being on both sides of the arguments.

Winter

Winter is here- in Copenhagen. The sun is out, but the wind is winning- Its strength requires you to get the nivea out and moisturise your face- and tears roll down your face no matter what one thinks